4 October 11
Guys, im heartbroken and worried to tell you that yet again im experiencing problems with my voice. its ridiculous i know! i cant believe it myself. i follow all the advice im given and stick to regimes, rules and practices to the best of my ability but it seems to simply not be enough. i want you to know the full story about my voice troubles so bare with me in this long blog. i first started having trouble with my voice back in january, it was weakened by a bout of flu from december and never got its complete strength back before i started my UK and European promotional tour, so it just got weaker and weaker until it eventually “broke” as i say. i didnt realise at the time, cause id never had anything wrong with my voice, ever. but id also never sung as much as i was at the time it went. i was diagnosed with laryngitis and ordered to rest intensely for 10 days, and i recovered and went on to do a show in london and a month long promo tour in the U.S and also the brit awards without any hiccups. the whole time i stuck to a strict regime of numerous diets, steaming, vocal rest and vocal warm ups. which is very necessary but insanely grim. After a bit of time off I embarked on my european and UK tours at the end of march and finished at the end of april and everything seemed fine.
in may i went on tour in the U.S, i was in minneapolis which was about half way through the tour. i made a skype call in the morning on the day of the show and during it my voice suddenly switched off like a light! it was literally as if someone pulled a curtain over my throat. i knew something was wrong and panicked but convinced myself id be fine. i got to soundcheck and knew immediately i couldnt perform and with doctors advice cancelled the show. i was mortified and distraught but stubbornly insisted we go to denver for the following day, i did the show even though in the back of mind i knew it wasnt the right thing to do. and during it i felt, what i can only describe as something ripping in my throat. but adrenalin kicked in and i was too embarrassed to not finish the show. I was sent to LA to rest and get another opinion. this time i was diagnosed with a hemorrhage. which is like a black eye on the vocal chord, it was incredibly tender and dangerous if i was to continue to sing through it. i was ordered to rest, so i flew home and did for a month. then slowly i started fulfilling my commitments. i did a show in london at the itunes festival and then went on to complete the first leg of the rescheduled US shows and perform at the VMAS which were all a blinding success.
however when i got home and prepared to start my UK tour in september i developed a respiratory and chest infection which had nothing to do with any of my voice problems from before but still forced me to cancel 6 shows and a performance at the mercury awards. i was stuffed full of antibiotics, had some time to rest and in the end managed to do 9 shows of the 15. After them and once back home my voice yet again went. mid conversation and it just switched off! i have a hemorrhage again and it is paramount that i rest and therefore wont be able to come and do these already rescheduled U.S shows which are due to start this friday in atlantic city.
the fact is i have never been able to fully recover from any of the problems that ive had and then continue to rest even once im recovered, because of my touring commitments. ive been offered the chance to not tour at all to save anything like this from happening again, but i simply hate letting you down. although now im having to let you down once again through no fault of my own really. if i continue to pick up everything before i have properly conquered these problems and nipped them in the bud. i will be totally and utterly fucked. singing is literally my life, its my hobbie, my love, my freedom and now my job. I have absolutely no choice but to recuperate properly and fully, or i risk damaging my voice forever. i have great confidence in believing you know how much this upsets me, how seriously i take it and how truly devastated and annoyed i am by this. wanting to do something so bad and not being able to is the most frustrating thing as im sure you know! my voice is weak and i need to build it back up. I’m gonna be starting up vocal rehab as soon as, and start building my over all stamina in my voice, body and mind. i will be back and im gonna smash the ball out the park once im touring again. i apologise from the bottom of my heart, sincerely i do. i know its not only disappointing because of the show, but its plane tickets, hotel bookings, birthdays, anniversaries and time wasted. but please have faith in me that this is the only thing i can do to make sure i can always sing and always make music for you to the best of my ability. truly yours and yours only forever, adele xx