Humour Has It (Jokes)

[RunrigCorvusCoraxFan]

This thread is for funny stories and jokes.

I start

What did one shoe, say to other shoe - Lord have my sole

Why was the car grounded - Because it was on supension

What did one hair, say to the other hair - Oh dear I'm hanging by a strand

What did one game say to the other game - Come on board

You have so much to live for, but you love this food - stake (steak)

What does water and a vegetable have in common? Leek

You eat this, and you sit on it- a couch potato

How did a classical composer open a door? - He was a handel

A plane arrives in your house, but you wash some clothes using the hanger

[earsnoteyes]

Thanks for a little comic relief,we all need it.:)

[GingerBiscuit]

In case anyone doesn't know............

[LouieArmstrong]

12_luv_adeleadkins posted a funny joke on the FB page the other day:

what does a perverted frog say?


.....Rubbit....


And I keep telling Adele's joke all the time: what is a blond girl standing upside down?


.....a brunette with a bad breath.....

[earsnoteyes]

What is difference between snowmen and snowwomen?......SNOWBALLS


Why does Santa have such a big red bag? Because he only comes once a year.

[RunrigCorvusCoraxFan]

What do you get if you cross a house and a saying - A clean slate

How did the prince get promoted? - He went out using a horse, so it can reign

How did Adele go to Outer Hebrides to go to her pub - She went to buy some wellingtons (duke of wellington)

What did Will young sing in autumn? - Leaf right now

[_1adelefan]

How does Jesus like his steak? - Well Done

[RunrigCorvusCoraxFan]

What kind of laptop would you give to daydreamers - A-DELL

What kind of weather falls on a future king? - Hail (that's bad)

What something do you create, and it's part of a door? - The frames

What do you get if you cross a torch (flashlight), and a remote control? - Beam

What something is si boring and it flies - A plane (plain)

What fruit, reminds you of someone who cheats - Man-Go

What do you take to Africa and you eat it - A dessert

[margaux]

In case anyone doesn't know............

HAH. I like this.

[Adeles_daydreamer13]

How do you make lady Gag laugh?- You Poker Face

A kid asks his dad "dad why is my brother named "Soaring Eagle"
The dad says "well son when ur mother and i were making love when ur brother was conceived there was a soaring eagle above us"
The kid asks his dad "dad why is my other brother called "River"?
The dad says "well son when ur mother and i were making love when ur brother was conceieved we were next to a river"
The kid said "oh ok"
Then the dad asks: "Why do you ask Broken rubber?"

*for u brits- if you dont know- a rubber in american is a condom*