_1adelefan wrote:How does Jesus like his steak? - Well Done
What type of weather did Prince say that was in today's forecast on the news? - Purple Rain
Humour Has It (Jokes)
Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by _1adelefan » Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:31 pm
What type of weather did Prince say that was in today's forecast on the news? - Purple Rain
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by margaux » Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:49 pm
Imagine this joke, with Adele saying it....lol
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"Fuck off!"
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"Fuck off!"
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by tmaherster » Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:58 pm
Little Johnny was in school and the teacher told the class to make a sentence with the word definitely in it.
When it was his turn to answer Johnny asked : Miss, do farts have lumps in them? Teacher replied: Johnny don't be so rude and to answer your question, no farts don't have lumps in them. Johnny replied: well I Definitely shit myself then.
When it was his turn to answer Johnny asked : Miss, do farts have lumps in them? Teacher replied: Johnny don't be so rude and to answer your question, no farts don't have lumps in them. Johnny replied: well I Definitely shit myself then.
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by noory-doory » Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:12 pm
these are all so funny!!! definitely put a smile on my face!! thank you guys!! i needed that badly today!
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by ImAlina » Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:14 pm
earsnoteyes wrote:What is difference between snowmen and snowwomen?......SNOWBALLS
hahah, I love this!
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by tmaherster » Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:17 pm
This one is disgusting (got it from Chelsea Lately which you'd have to think) so : Whats the most popular chat up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in!
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by RunrigCorvusCoraxFan » Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:25 pm
What sports equipment do you used but you make too much noise? - Racket
What is a sport and a building? - Badseball (base as in a building)
What sport do you play at home? Bowls
What does a cockney person and a body part have in common ? Ere (Ear)
What cake can't you eat, as it's to messy? Apple crumble
What choc do you do a dance? Twirl
What chocolate bar do you have to eat before you can get a good debate? Topic
What crisps can't you eat, and have to wait until it's cool down? You have to wait for the Kettle Chips
What biscuit can you use to protect yourself? A jammy dodger
What is a sport and a building? - Badseball (base as in a building)
What sport do you play at home? Bowls
What does a cockney person and a body part have in common ? Ere (Ear)
What cake can't you eat, as it's to messy? Apple crumble
What choc do you do a dance? Twirl
What chocolate bar do you have to eat before you can get a good debate? Topic
What crisps can't you eat, and have to wait until it's cool down? You have to wait for the Kettle Chips
What biscuit can you use to protect yourself? A jammy dodger
There ain't no point holding back the tide,
Still gonna get ya
'Cause every little bird's gotta learn to fly
Sooner or later
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by LouieArmstrong » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:03 pm
A girl and a guy standing next to eachother in a bar.
The guy takes a good look at the girl and asks her:
guy: 'Would you wear socks if you didn't have feet?
girl: O_o 'uuuuuhhhh nooo ????'
guy: 'Then why are you wearing a bra?
The guy takes a good look at the girl and asks her:
guy: 'Would you wear socks if you didn't have feet?
girl: O_o 'uuuuuhhhh nooo ????'
guy: 'Then why are you wearing a bra?
'her majesty of Tottenham'
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by margaux » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:14 pm
Runrig, your jokes remind me of the kind you get inside Christmas crackers. Are you getting them from a website or do you know them all by heart?!
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Re: Humour Has It (Jokes)
by margaux » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:15 pm
Not a joke really, because it's dead true:
A woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same.
A woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same.
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