i cant express how i feel today to anyone but who reads this

[SylviaSatisfaction]

I hope no one will think ill of me for this but I have to release this somehow, all this heaviness is building up in my chest again and my heart hurts I really can feel it aching, I can't stop all these thoughts from racing through my head, I hate how this happens and I feel so terrible and then I despise myself for feeling so terrible, because there is always someone
that's suffering and hurting worse than I could ever imagine.



This is what I do when I feel this way....
I wrote this a few nights ago trying to brush it off and get my head out of my chest...

I feel it creeping, I feel it crawling
Eating away at my home again
Just sit and listen
In this condition
Soon ill be lying in the rubble again
Lying in the rubble
Lying in the rubble
Just lying in the rubble again
But I'm still breathing
This hearts still beating
No, this life hasn't come to and end
So sit and listen
In this condition
Soon ill be Rising from the rubble again
Rising from the rubble
Rising from the rubble
Soon ill be rising from the rubble again


I
V
This is a mixture of three "songs"/poems that came to me here and there
Over last summer

Heartache, I didn't know it was a real feeling
but then ur heart breaks
& could it ever really get to healing
I just need to be away from everything that bends
Eventually it breaks,
I won't survive from caving in
I don't have the strength to pull through any more
My knees are scared from falling to the floor
& I might just give into this heartache
Now I'm sitting in the dark staring at the wall,
I just can't seem to compose myself at all
From crying, feel as if my soul is dying
& its gone on for too long, this fighting within my heart
All the twists and turns, its tearing me apart,this heartache,
And I get so scared then I feel so dumb,
My blood runs cold and my heart goes numb
What do you do when your the only one
Will I always be such a sick sad lonely one





No one ever really listens, I feel like this all the time and I just don't know how I'm gonna get through the rest of today, let alone tomorrow, ahhhhhh I'm trapped in a hole by myself I just want to be able to pull myself out and I always get close. But MUSIC, writing, listening to it takes me to a place where I'm ok, and I can have hope that things will get better, thank you for whoever took time out to read this crap. <3 sylvie

[ScreamingSong]

I read it.

It takes courage to express yourself like you have – in private or public.

I hope tomorrow is even a tiny glimmer brighter for you than today. :)

[SylviaSatisfaction]

I read it.

It takes courage to express yourself like you have – in private or public.

I hope tomorrow is even a tiny glimmer brighter for you than today. :)

You just made it better. I've been feeling embarrassed about that post all day and thought about deleting it, but I won't now because just a few kind words from someone I don't even know made me smile! Its a beautiful thing. Thank you

[crispycreme]

i can say i feel a lot of wrote :( it's hard but i like ur work

[SylviaSatisfaction]

i can say i feel a lot of wrote :( it's hard but i like ur work

Thank you and I hope that you don't have to feel those things a lot because it sucks when you do! ;-)

[crispycreme]

i can say i feel a lot of wrote :( it's hard but i like ur work

Thank you and I hope that you don't have to feel those things a lot because it sucks when you do! ;-)

i did but now ,slowly i'm getting better thanks.

[SylviaSatisfaction]

Do you ever write? I always get some satisfaction from pouring ny guts out!

Here's another one of my rants


I'm stuck right here, middle of the day time
Caught up with you, you just crashed into my mind
When I was tangled in your arms, minion to your charm
But now I'm haunted with your lies

You just left me here
Staring up at the corner
Holding back tears
You know I though of you better
I thought you a friend
Oh but never again
will I be stuck right here, middle of the day time
Caught up with you when you crash into my mind

So now that I'm gone from your arms,
who"ll fall for your charms
Ill be a ghost in your eyes
You just left me here
staring up at the corner
Holding back tears

You know I thought you better
I thought you a friend
but never again will I be stuck right here
middle of the day time
Caught up with you when you crash into my mind

you just left me here
Staring up at the corner
Holding back tears
You know I though of you better
I thought you a friend
Oh but never again
will I be stuck right here, middle of the day time
Caught up with you when you crash into my mind

You know I thought of you better
I thought you a friend
Ill think of you forever
But never again will I be stuck right here
Never again no, no
I have a vid of me singing it if you care to listen it on my fb page www.facebook.com/fortheweeping. You'll have to sift through I don't remember what i exactly titled it. <3

[crispycreme]

no,not really.i've thought about it.i draw tho.hmm,seems you feel a lot of what i've been going thru :(

[SylviaSatisfaction]

no,not really.i've thought about it.i draw tho.hmm,seems you feel a lot of what i've been going thru :(

Unfortunately I often find myself lingering in the department of despair, yuck!....but that's cool you draw I do too painting is my other favorite way to purge. Hahaa I've been on a painting binge the past 4 days, its been so beautiful out so I've been getting up bright n early and staying at it till dark haha I have no life....but I'm ok that way, I always think someday there will be someone I can share it with. That would be nice! Really nice! What kind of stuff are you into drawing?

[crispycreme]

no,not really.i've thought about it.i draw tho.hmm,seems you feel a lot of what i've been going thru :(

Unfortunately I often find myself lingering in the department of despair, yuck!....but that's cool you draw I do too painting is my other favorite way to purge. Hahaa I've been on a painting binge the past 4 days, its been so beautiful out so I've been getting up bright n early and staying at it till dark haha I have no life....but I'm ok that way, I always think someday there will be someone I can share it with. That would be nice! Really nice! What kind of stuff are you into drawing?

i was very happy til i was blindsided and was dumped.thanks,it's been nice her too.i have no life now either bc i'm also on sick leave and well, i am doing better i was kinda depressed but i still have no life :p i draw sports stuff but mostly people. i have a thread on here where i posted a pic of a drawing i did of adele.oh,and my days and nights are so mixed up now i know what you mean about staying up.